Young Love.

Truth hurts. Whereas a lie can be disproved, the truth persists. You can accept it, hide from it or be consumed by it.

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They say you should be happy when you're young. But nobody listens to a teenager. Nobody cares what you think. They may pretend to listen, but in the end, you're just wasting your breath. It's pointless to try and make sense. But no matter how much people want it to be true, love isn't forever. Love is work, understanding, compromise, and commitment. love is supposed to be nurtured or it dies. You see, what young love lacks in direction, it's made up for in strength.

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Those moments that I spent with you, those beautiful moments that I would never, ever forget.. those moments, as beautiful as they are, they're evil when they're gone.

Asdfghjkl

So I spent my day hanging with Alia, Haneez and Amira.

My body hurts. Amira hit me a few times. I'm fine.

We watched house bunny. I already watched it, but I watched it again since Alia already bought then tickets.



Nothing to blog about. Pfft.

Whispers in the dark.

I can’t sleep. I’m waking up, sleeping, and waking up again.

This isn’t much of a problem now since I don’t have any lessons anymore. My wretched mother still forces me to attend school, though.

I feel like screaming.

Tomorrow I have plans to head out to cineleisure and meet up with Alia and Haneez. I haven’t got the slightest clue to whether my mother would change her mind. There’s a high chance for that since I’ve been out for what, 3 days in a row? Ugh. I miss my computer. It’s been forever since I could use it. My father keeps hogging it. I can’t blame him, though; since it’s for his work.

I’m so desperate for a good run.

Beauty through broken glass.

I need someone to wake me up from this state of delusion I find myself living in. I can’t tell the difference anymore. I can’t.

I need something that would wake me up. Even for a while. Even for a fraction of a second. I need to tell so badly.

It’s like I’m an empty shell of a human being. Waiting for a miracle to occur.

I feel like I’m wasting my time; my life. I think I should be doing more, and yet I find myself not reinforcing my thoughts. . It’s not that I can’t, I just don’t know what to do anymore.

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You're so beautiful. It's like you're a princess that escaped from a fairytale that I've never heard of.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're so beautiful you break my heart.

Bored.

I am currently waiting for my history exam to start.

Once again, nothing is going into my head. Adam is beside me, Rauf behind me, Raznil beside Rauf, and Shafiq at the far end somewhere. Sporting his new haircut. His.. moderate haircut. No offense intended. Not much anyway.

Whoa. It's been a while since i actually posted anything. I suck.

Anyway. I've been busy studying (believe it or not) so i've been deserting this blog. True, i don't post even when i'm not studying, but i just had the urge to post SOMETHING today.

I'm eating a bun in my room. Nothing better to do, I was trying to study but nothing went into my head.

Beloved phone.

Okay, so i started my day with eating. The best way possible to start my day.
Found out my friend was moving back to another country. Broke my heart to find that out, it kind of ruined my day. And probably would ruin my next few days. Yes, andy, i expect you to say something like, "keep ya head up, it'll get better" or something close to it.

Spent my day wanting to shoot myself. I watched gay movies almost the whole day in attempt to cheer myself up, but to no prevail. Moped through my day.
My dad noticed something was off with me so he decided to treat me to japanese food. I was too bloated to remember about my pain. One thing that always made me feel better, phones. I started hunting for another phone for me to set my sights on. Just another one for my collection. Phones are my forte.

Wanted to get an n73, just for the kicks. I know who has what phone, it's my nature. One phone i spent my time looking at a lot. Nokia n95. I really should start finding things to divert my thoughts off that person. Pain. Hurt. Confusion. Ugh. That's all i feel when i think about her.

Well, whatevs, tomorrow's another day. Another chance at things. Like you say, andy,

beijos, xxx

31 ways to make a girl smile

1. Tell her she is beautiful

2. Hold her hand at any moment … even if it’s just for a second.

3. Hug her from behind

4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5. Wrestle with her

6. Don’t go hang out with you ex when she is not with you, you might not realize how badly it hurts her.

7. If you’re talking to another girl, when you’re done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her….let her know she’s yours and they aren’t.

8. Write her notes or call her just to say “hi”

9. Introduce her to your friends … as your girlfriend.

10. Play with her hair.

11. Pick her up

12. Get upset if someone touches her and she doesn’t like it

13. Make her laugh

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15. If she’s mad at you, kiss her.

16. If you care about her, then TELL HER

17. Every person should give their girl 3 things: a stuffed animal (she’ll hug it every time she goes to sleep), jewelry (she’ll treasure it forever), and one of her t-shirts (she’ll most likely wear it to bed) or sweatshirts sprayed with your perfume/ cologne!! And flowers or something occasionally.

18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when you’re alone.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile.

20. Hang out with her on weekends

21. Kiss her in the rain

22. Kiss her just for the heck of it

23. If your listening to music, let her listen too.

24. Remember her birthday and get her something, even if it’s simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. It means all the world to HER.

25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don’t (it’ll make her happy.)

26. Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her think you don’t care so call even if you can only talk for a minute. Girls don’t necessarily have to have hour long conversations every night but it’s nice for us to hear your voice even for a quick hello.

27. Give her what she wants.

28. Recognize the small things … they usually mean the most.

29. Don’t hug her friends or your friends that are girls cause she’ll feel left out.

30. Hang out with her whenever you are free and u should be free to hang wit your girl friend all the time

31. If u care about her…SHOW her!

Faith.

I learned a valuable lesson in faith recently. You give it to the people you love. But the people who really deserve it, are the ones that come through, even when you don't love them enough.

[Charz] I kissed a girl, and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick. says (8:05 PM):
why do you keep saying you're someone's mother?
Michelle says (8:07 PM):
cause I'm your mother
[Charz] I kissed a girl, and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick. says (8:07 PM):
WTF
[Charz] I kissed a girl, and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick. says (8:07 PM):
MUMMY?
Michelle says (8:08 PM):
yes daughter.
[Charz] I kissed a girl, and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chapstick. says (8:08 PM):
mummy, this is messed up.

When I have no one to turn to
And I am feeling kind of low,
When there is no one to talk to
And nowhere I want to go,
I search deep within myself
It is the love inside my heart
That lets me know my Angel is there
Even though we are miles apart.

A smile then appears upon my face
And the sun begins to shine.
I hear a voice, so soft and sweet
Saying, 'Everything will be just fine'
It may seem that I am alone
But I am never by myself at all.
Whenever I need my Angel near
All I have to do is call.

An Angel's love is always true
One that you can depend.
They will always stand behind you
And will always be your friend.
Through darkest hours and brightest days
Our Angels see us through
They smile when we are happy, and will cry when we are blue..

Thanks for being my Angel, my friend
I will be there for you until the end.

I want you to know. Andy, You're my angel.

I wish I loved you.

It Saddens me every time I hear your name,
Racing thoughts in my head left unexplained.
I understand how much my heart means to you,
Seems my heart wont let your emotions through.

It kills you inside waiting on those words,
Something I hold in that wont be heard.
You tell me how much we are meant to be,
Truthfully, my heart is scared of being happy.

Everyday you call me asking how I am,
Not knowing deep inside, I try as much as I can.
Please open those beautiful eyes and see,
I am trying love you as much as you love me.

I can't express to you the way my heart feels,
Compared to you I don't believe anything’s real.
My emotions for you I can’t seem to let show,
A bleeding heart for I know you won’t let me go.

How can I have a beautiful girl in front of my face,
Wanting to be with me always in no other place.
I'm ashamed of myself wasting all your time,
You are praying for the day I make you mine.

Baby, I will always be there,
However it is nothing compared to everything you've shared.
Wondering when my daily wish will come true,
The day my heart speaks back I love you too.

Today, I found myself drawing at a quiet corner of my class. I found it nice, for once no one was asking me things and mentioning.. indecent things. 0_0. I’M INNOCENT! Shafiq didn’t come to school today cause he was sick or something. I was supposed to go to Phelan’s house to finish up my geography project but he forgot he had tuition so I ended up not going. Sniff.. I have to go get my pendrive from his house now.

Beijos. Xxx

Not even for a second would I lie to myself, too many things missing, There's a tear in my eye.

I woke up after Lauren came to my house in the early morning. 2 o’clock early enough? She came just to check on me. I'm surprised I could even wake up at 12 this morning. I slept at 5. SO UNHEALTHY. I need more sleep. =D. I’m sitting in my room with the air conditioning on. It’s supposed to be off to save the environment, but my mother can’t live without air conditioning so I just had to leave it on. I enjoy having the air conditioning on anyway. =\.

Things get so darn crazy.

This blog is dedicated to Andy. =].

Today was okay, Wen Yi, Martin and I were hanging out in Phelan’s house. Phelan spent his WHOLE day playing maple story, I was just staring at him blankly. His character was lvl. 158 or something, but it was in a private server, so yeah. =_=. Ahaah.

And I spent the day eating, maybe sleeping a bit. Sleeping on Phelan’s bed was VERY awkward, cause all of us were trying to fit on his single bed while he was playing maple. Since I was the first one there, I was in the middle. IT’S SO AWKWARD. Wen Yi was holding on to my right arm, Martin was pushing up against me with his arm on my belly, and later on Phelan joined us and was sleeping at the bottom of the bed. Wen Yi’s boyfriend Marcus then later came over to hang with her a bit.

At 12:20, Marcus gave us a ride back to school. We waited for a crowd to come out from the school before we went into the crowd and blended in. The first familiar face I saw was Alia. Running towards me. I was expecting a hug, but oh well, I got hit on the shoulder instead. =]. She was pissed at me cause she thought that I didn’t go to school since I didn’t show up today. Next familiar face, Adam. Who made, “Hey, shorty”. His new greeting for me. YES I KNOW I’M SHORT. Next familiar face, Wani, who also hit me. And then there’s Haneez, that hugged me, (FINALLY). And then she nagged me about the fact that I shouldn’t skip school anymore.

And then she took the liberty to nag me again online.

Haneez says (4:52 PM):

charz!

'Charz says (4:53 PM):

heyy = ]

Haneez says (4:53 PM):

dont skip school anymore

'Charz says (4:53 PM):

O_O

Haneez says (4:53 PM):

i miss you like bitch!!!

'Charz says (4:54 PM):

i missed you too babe. XD

Haneez says (4:54 PM):

yeah!

Haneez says (4:54 PM):

so dont skip school

Haneez says (4:54 PM):

okkkkkkkk!!!!!!

'Charz says (4:56 PM):

maybe maybe. = ]

Haneez says (4:57 PM):

cause without you in school, i'll be damn silent and unhappy